Me and my little brother Kyle went on holiday. We had to sleep in an horrible shed. Kyle went to the toilet. I found a monster called mystery monster. Just then Kyle came back to the shed aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh we screamed. Run I shouted.
This is a great first attempt at the 100WC Declan. I’m impressed that you’ve taken the time to post an entry. You’ve used some good adjectives to make your piece more descriptive and you’ve had a go at adding speech. This wasn’t added to the 100WC site as you wrote less than half your 100 words. You should be finding it tricky to squeeze everything in. Next time try and grab the readers attention from the very start. You could have opened with ‘Aaaaahhhhh!’ Kyle screamed as he ran from the shed…’
Great to see you posting a 100wc Declan, I am very impressed. Listen to the points that Mr London has made and you will soon be put up on the 100wc site. Remember my assembly about how we learn – you will soon get there!
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