Alana B 100WC week#18

On the 26 of July me and Melissa, Alexandra and my Dad and Mum was going on holiday to Ibiza :]. when we arrived at the house there was a mysterious, wooden,old shed in the back garden mummm I screamed. There’s a creepy shed in the back garden and there’s a pair of dirty and worn out ballerina shoes in the window. I went in and all I could see was a ghost but it wasn’t it was the sole of the shed. Ahhhhh I fainted slowly I was never go back in that shed I promised myself I will never go back to Ibiza in my whole entire life.:[

7 Comments

  1. Mr London says:

    Congratulations Alana, your first 100WC has now been added to the 100WC site. You are number 452. You’ve included lots of great descriptive adjectives in this piece, but be sure to carefully read through your work before posting. I can spot quite a few mistakes with your punctuation.

  2. Bobby says:

    Well done this is an outstanding 100WC challenge. You’ve told me a lot about your trip.

  3. Teri says:

    Amazing 100WC Alana. This piece of writing is outstanding. 🙂

  4. Trish Burgess (Team 100WC) says:

    I agree with Mr London – more thorough checking of your work was needed to tidy up some of the sentences. However, there is a great deal of energy and a sense of fun in the piece and you have worked hard to include some good descriptive words.

    I hope you enjoy the 100WC, Alana. You have lots of potential. Well done!

  5. Mrs Murray says:

    Well done Alana – what an interesting 100wc – I would have been shocked too if I had found something so strange in my back garden. Your idea was quite unique. Listen to the advice given and your next piece will be even better.

  6. Ava says:

    Alana I loved your story. I loved how you were determined to do what you said in the story. I think you should work on putting quotation marks. Keep up the great work! 🙂

  7. Andy Knill Team100WC says:

    Yes, Alana a bit more checking but a great use of imagination and a good first 100WC post.

    Andy Knill, Team 100WC, Essex, UK

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